Let It Go Monastic Style

“For the person who has learned to let go and let be, nothing can ever get in the way again.”—Meister Eckhart

Nestled quietly on a side street in the bustling London borough of Southwark sits the Oratory of St. Alphege, a nondescript monastic community where three Franciscan sisters and one Franciscan brother lead lives of quiet contemplation and humble service. In February, they welcomed me into their home for a week of solitude and seeking. Each day began the same, with morning prayer in the austere chapel followed by a humble meal and incredible conversations. Then the sisters and brother were off to serve at the local food bank, minister to the homeless, and care for battered women before returning once again to the house for personal study, meditative silence, and evening prayer.  

Their gentle, unassuming home sat in stark contrast to the surrounding city, replete with royal residences, imperial palaces, and ornate cathedrals. In a world of more, they chose less.

Following in the footsteps of Francis of Assisi, the son of a wealthy cloth merchant who embraced poverty instead of privilege, the Franciscans refer to themselves as “the poor brothers and sisters.” Yet their vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience are more than simple renunciations of pleasure and possessions; they are committed to letting go of the lifestyles, ego, ambitions, certitudes, beliefs, control, and fears holding most of us in chains. In this letting go of their own self-determination, they are slowly being converted into a new way of life: a life of freedom, love, justice, and selflessness. 

But we needn’t join a convent to learn the art of letting go. Every day we’re provided the opportunity to free ourselves from old beliefs, sinful certitudes, relational resentments, past hurts, family expectations, fears, anxiety, and our own ego-driven desires. 

This art of letting go of what will never satisfy is the real path toward spiritual transformation. Father Richard Rohr writes, “Spirituality is not about getting, attaining, achieving, succeeding, all of which tend to pander to the ego. Authentic spirituality is about the wisdom of letting go.” 

In the waning hours before my flight home from Heathrow, I walked down to historic Borough Market to purchase a small gift for my new brother and sisters. Returning to the house with fresh bread and aged Dorset cheese, I wept in shameful conviction watching the sheer joy on their faces as they ate “posh” bread and farmhouse cheese. They, who have so little, are so full. I, who have so much, am so empty.

Ultimately, letting go frees up space in our hearts, minds, and souls for what truly matters. And since the art of letting go is often far more spiritual than it is physical, it requires deep interior self-examination. To help you discern what you might need to be free from, here’s a simple, meditative practice to guide you in this forgotten art of moving forward. 

A Practice

Over the course of the next several days, incorporate the following 10- to 15-minute meditative practice into your daily routine. First, take a few slow, deep breaths in and out to silence your heart, mind, and soul. Then read the poem below, first aloud to become familiar with it, then to yourself a second time, paying attention to any word or phrase that stands out to you. Take several minutes to sit in silence, allowing that word or phrase to prayerfully sink down into your soul like a small seed. As you close your time of silence and listening, make note of anything that comes to mind as something you might need to let go of. Finally, throughout your day, be mindful of other ideas, beliefs, or hindrances that germinate from that humble seed prayer. What can you do today to become free of these limitations?

A Poem

To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

(Excerpted from Mary Oliver’s “In Blackwater Woods,” originally published in her 1983 collection American Primitive)

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