Choose to Love Yourself

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“To the degree that we can have compassion for ourselves, we will also have compassion for others.” — Pema Chodron

It’s only Tuesday, and it’s already been a week 🥵 We are both mentally and physically exhausted. So rather than pushing through it and trying to offer you, our cherished reader, something from an empty cup, we’re taking a bit of a break. 

It goes against everything we learn in our hustle culture (and even in Christian culture, where saying “no” or admitting our limitations is often equated with not trusting God), but we’re learning to take care of ourselves anyway. If, like us, you struggle to offer lovingkindness to yourself, practice this meditation for the next few days, creating a soft spot in your heart for yourself. 

A Meditation for Self Compassion*

Find a comfortable but alert position in which to sit. As you gently close your eyes, scan your body from head to toe, noticing any areas of tension or pain you might be holding in your body. As you settle your mind, breathe in peace and breathe out any pain or discomfort. 

To begin, allow your breathing to be natural, seeing where in the body you can feel the breath most naturally. You might notice the breath in your stomach, as your abdomen rises and falls with your breath. It might be in your chest, where you may notice the expansion and contraction as your body inhales and exhales. 

Breathing in, bring a gentle awareness to the breath. Breathing out, be aware of the breath leaving your body. Take several gentle breaths in and out to still your mind. 

(pause)

You may notice your mind wandering, that’s no bother. This merely allows you to cultivate the art of mindfulness by bringing your attention and awareness back to your breath. Each time you bring your awareness back to your breath, you are strengthening your ability to be present in this moment while increasing your ability to concentrate. Treat your wandering mind as an opportunity to practice mindfulness, instead of as a problem to solve. 

Now begin offering loving kindness to yourself. Continue breathing gently and silently think the following phrases to yourself:

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.
May I be well in body, mind, soul, and spirit.
May I be at peace and happy. 

Repeat several times, perhaps even picturing yourself receiving these words of affirmation and love. If it is difficult for you to love yourself and wish good things to yourself, picture your inner child or even an image of yourself as a child receiving this love. If feelings of guilt or shame arise during this meditation, be patient with yourself, allowing whatever arises to be received with compassion. 

Finish this meditation by sitting in silence for a few minutes, paying attention to the breath. Whenever you are ready, gently open your eyes and return your attention to the space around you.

*adapted from Jack Kornfield’s “A Meditation on Lovingkindness”

What We’re Reading, Listening To, Watching

Melanie

• Listening to: The Rise and Fall of Mars Hill podcast

• Watching: Pray Away (Netflix)

Gary Alan

• Reading: The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh

• Watching: “Walter Brueggemann on Justice From Below” lecture