Recovering From Evangelicalism: A 3 Step Program

Everyone’s talking about deconstructing evangelicalism, but what about recovering from it? Leaving evangelical fundamentalism is a lot like recovering from an addiction.

“For a species wired for survival, we have an odd habit of getting hooked on things that can kill us,” writes professor Michael D. Lemonick. Much like an addictive substance, evangelicalism felt good until it didn’t. Your brain is very simple. It loves pleasure and it hates pain. And though evangelical Christianity probably never gave you the buzz alcohol or sex can, it still felt good to be a member of the dominant religious class in America, to believe you were right, or to enjoy the self-righteous thrill of indignation toward homosexuals, liberals, Muslims, and anyone else who didn’t measure up to the pharisaical standards of conservative Christianity.

Addiction is defined as the overwhelming urge to continue something you know is bad for you. And you now know evangelicalism is bad for you. Whether you are suffering from purity culture, self-hatred, negative core beliefs, learned helplessness, worthlessness, male authoritarianism, doubt, the fear of eternal damnation, or the never-ending obsession with sin management, to fully recover and end your suffering you must first accept that you have been in a great deal of pain for a long time and evangelical Christianity is the root cause of your suffering.

Recent scholarship reveals the nadir of evangelical suffering. Scientist Kristin Hovet’s research shows just how dangerous evangelicalism is to our physical and emotional health. Her studies exposed a new disorder known as RTS or Religious Trauma Syndrome. Much like PTSD, RTS produces identity confusion, eating disorders, sleep issues, depression, and substance abuse.

Hopefully, you joined the deconstruction community because you had enough wisdom to get help. I hope you know you’ve already taken the first step toward recovery. Your rehab process has already begun and it started with the belief that you are worthy of good things. You are worth healing. But, it’s going to take a long time to peel back the layers of resentment, trauma, and conditioned behaviors that kept you in bondage. From my experience, it might take years to feel normal again.

Want to learn more about life after fundamentalism? Check out our podcast episode, “Recovering From Evangelicalism: The 5 Noble Truths of Deconstruction.”

Once you decide to deconstruct, to recover from evangelicalism, it can be scary. The feeling is often one of loss and loneliness because recovery disturbs your sense of identity. Who will I be if I let my addiction to evangelicalism go? For many of us, the first and most significant challenge is finding a safe place to heal. Much like rehab for an addict, you need effective treatment to move forward. That’s why we created The Sophia Society to be a safe, sacred community for those of us on this journey.

But the truth is you can never completely escape your past, however you can move forward. You can carve out a path of recovery that leads to your spiritual, emotional, and physical healing. To begin your rehabilitation journey, here are three first steps toward recovery. 

1. Recovery Requires Renunciation

Every honest addict knows they have an unhealthy relationship with their drug of choice. An alcoholic can’t just have one drink, because it tastes like more. The only solution to end the cycle of addiction is abstinence. The same is true for your spiritual recovery. When I fled evangelicalism it meant leaving my job at an evangelical organization and walking out of church for two years. Why? Because it was too tempting to stay in the fold, to give up my freedom simply to be comfortable in a community I knew was killing me. So, get out. Cut the cord, completely disavow your identity and place within evangelicalism. Abstinence also means not engaging in harmful activities associated with evangelical subculture. Even though I had walked away from my job and church, I noticed how I continued following conservative evangelical voices like John Piper or Owen Strachan on social media just to see what utter nonsense they were spewing. Like a dog to its vomit, I kept returning, giving them space in my head, and even angrily engaging them on Twitter. But all that did was trigger my anger, resentment, and rage even more. So as tempting as it is to doom scroll the latest drivel from The Gospel Coalition, resist. Give yourself permission to completely avoid their very existence.

2. Disrupt People, Places, and Things

The people, places, and things you experience every day play a pivotal role in your recovery from evangelicalism. If you want to break free, you must change the individuals, community, and things with which you normally engage. These are everyday triggers that lure you back into old habits and behaviors. I have a friend recovering from alcoholism. When he came home from a 30-day stint in rehab the first thing he did was throw away his favorite drinking chair. Why? Because he couldn’t walk back into his living room and see that chair every day. It had too many memories, it evoked too many conditioned behaviors that would lead him back to alcohol. 

So, shake up your life. Change patterns, drive a different direction to work, find new friends. And ask yourself this question: What people, places, and things need to be removed from my life? Then go about disrupting them. Your “people” triggers might include your parents or a pastor. Your “places” could be your church, work, social media, or the coffee shop you met at for Bible study. Anyone or anything that elicits a strong emotional response from your years in evangelicalism needs to be on your list. Your “things” might be the Bible. If it is triggering or just too painful, then set it down and return to it only when you are ready. And who knows, it could take years before you are ready to open its pages, so be kind to yourself. However this process plays out for you, creating boundaries is a necessary step toward your recovery. 

3. Pick Your Path

There is no right or wrong way to recover; everyone is traveling on a different journey toward freedom, but the result is the same: we want to end our suffering. Addicts understand this better than anyone. Joining and working a recovery program is critical for long-term sobriety. That’s why it is so incredible that programs like AA, Smart Recovery, Dharma Recovery, and AA Agnostica are available to help foster a better life for anyone willing to do the hard work of rehabilitation.

The same is true for spiritual recovery. White evangelicalism does not have a monopoly on God. Within the larger Christian community, there are a myriad of spiritual pathways available to you. Find the one that is right for you. If you are theologically and socially progressive yet you enjoy the ancient liturgy of the Church, check out the Episcopal Church or Methodist Church. Maybe you find yourself in more open Catholic communities or even the Eastern Orthodox tradition. I have found incredible freedom combining Buddhist teachings and practices with my understanding of Jesus. What do you need? Where is your heart leading you and how do you get there?

We all need structure, it’s not enough to simply sweep your spiritual house clean. At some point you will need to replace toxic evangelicalism with a freer faith. Getting sober from evangelicalism is the easy part. Staying sober is much harder. Spiritual recovery demands more than just quitting evangelicalism. You must embrace a new life, new spiritual practices, and new ways of dealing with your past trauma.

Recovering from evangelical Christianity is possible. You can do this, but it’s going to take time. The intention, and the hope, is that every one of us on this deconstruction journey will be empowered to find our way out of the misery, resentment, and prison of evangelicalism.

May you find peace.

May you be happy.

May you be free from your suffering. 

Amen.