BONUS: “I Just Want Real Friends”: Finding Community Post-Deconstruction (Roundtable Discussion)
Show Notes
Episode Summary
Everyone’s experience with “deconstruction” or “leaving the faith” is different, but one thing that so many have in common is a loss of community. Whether it was by choice or by some level of excommunication, we often find ourselves in need of a new community that understands what we’ve been through and where we are in our faith. So how do you find it? We joined Joey (host of Dismantle Pod), Emily (co-host of The Postmodern Fish Podcast), Katherine (host of Uncertain Podcast), William (co-host of The Space Between UK Podcast), and Tim (host of The New Evangelicals Podcast) to have a roundtable discussion of what it’s like to lose a community and where we’ve all found new ones.
Connect
Dismantle Podcast
The Space Between UK
The Postmodern Fish
The New Evangelicals
Uncertain/Tears of Eden
Quotables
Joey: “Instead of trying to cast a bigger net, I’ve tried to dig a deeper well.” (tweet this)
Melanie: “We need to find those people who come from a perspective of wanting to hear where you’re at without being threatened by that.” (tweet this)
Tim: “I think for healthy community, you need that friction. You have to learn how to give and take with people.” (tweet this)
Gary Alan: “We had to step back and say, ‘Who is inviting us and where are they going?’” (tweet this)
Timestamps and References
[01:48]—Introductions
[03:08]—Tim’s and Emily’s stories of losing community
[05:22]—What Melanie, Katherine, Gary Alan, William, Tim, and Emily realized about the lost friendships in hindsight
[10:20]—Gary Alan’s and Melanie’s experiences of being ostracized
[12:50]—How quickly Katherine and Emily noticed that something was missing from their lives
[16:30]—How William’s idea of community shifted after his deconstruction and how he found ones that his new paradigm
[21:13]—What Tim misses now that he doesn’t have his church community and how he feels about being escorted out
[24:40]—How Joey has found community outside of church
[27:40]—Emily reflects on finding balance between digital friends and IRL friends
[29:39]—Tim wrestles with whether it’s possible to find authentic community online; Joey, Katherine, Emily, and Melanie respond
[36:28]—William’s and Gary Alan’s recommendations for people who are looking for authentic community
[40:33]—How to connect with everyone online and listen to their podcasts
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Credits
This episode was produced by The Sophia Society. Music is by Faith in Foxholes, and sound engineering is by Joshua Mudge.
