Ep. 16: Recognizing and Healing from Religious Trauma with Jess Hugenberg of Welcome to the Process
Show Notes
Episode Summary
“Other people have it worse.” “This really wasn’t that bad.” “Stop making mountains out of molehills.”
If you’ve ever said these things to yourself when thinking about your religious upbringing, or if other people have ever said them to you, congrats! You’ve been spiritually bypassed! Religious trauma is no joke, and it affects so very many of us. If you’ve ever wondered what religious trauma is, if you have it, what spiritual bypassing looks like, and how to heal, don’t miss this interview with Jess Hugenberg (aka Welcome to the Process)!
CW: Abuse, spiritual abuse, trauma, sexual abuse, spiritual bypassing
Bio
Jessica Hugenberg (MS, P-LPC) has a Master’s in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Southwestern Assemblies of God University. She has dedicated her career to the study of trauma after working with children and families in the foster care system, community services, and residential treatment. And she’s also the woman behind the Instagram account @welcometotheprocess, where she helps thousands of people recognize, process, and heal from their religious trauma.
Follow Jess on Instagram (@welcometotheprocess), TikTok (@jessicahugenberg), Twitter (@welcometothepr4), and Facebook (@welcometotheprocess).
Quotables
“When you have those constant negative thoughts that affect your day-to-day life, that’s a good sign you have religious trauma.” (tweet this)
“You might have to go back and ask yourself, ‘What did I need then when that abuse or hurt was happening?’ in order to heal.” (tweet this)
“If we’ve experienced religious trauma, we have to step in and re-parent ourselves and meet those emotional needs that we didn’t have met when that harm was happening.” (tweet this)
“A big reason why we spiritually bypass is we’re just uncomfortable. We just don’t know what to do, and it also feels a lot safer to over-spiritualize things.” (tweet this)
“Attributing harm to Satan or to evil feels a lot safer than attributing it to our own poor choices or the poor choices of someone else, which is often why we spiritually bypass.” (tweet this)
“Once we do this work of developing emotional intelligence and spiritual integrity, we’re better able to own our spiritual beliefs and practices and set our boundaries. And we’re not as affected when others’ boundaries are messed up.” (tweet this)
“If I have to serve a God that gets glory from me being abused, then I don’t want that. I would rather God not get the glory.” (tweet this)
“It’s totally valid and okay to leave a church where you’ve been hurt.” (tweet this)
Timestamps and References
[02:31]—Definition of religious trauma
[03:13]—Why Jess is so passionate about helping people heal from religious trauma
[06:00]—Jo Luehmann
[07:16]—How to recognize religious trauma and begin the healing process
[08:53]—Religious trauma syndrome; article: “Religious Trauma Is Real Trauma”
[11:20]—Why Jess considers purity culture to be religious sexual trauma
[13:45]—How finding language and being able to label her experience helped Jess unlearn the harmful messages of purity culture
[17:18]—Some of the signs that one has experienced religious trauma
[21:30]—How anger fits in
[27:10]—How to stop bypassing others’ hurt (i.e. spiritual bypassing)
[30:30]—Definition of spiritual bypassing
[33:55]—Why we need to stop spiritually bypassing ourselves
[39:00]—Setting boundaries with pastors or parents, even though it’s really difficult
[42:35]—Where Jess finds hope regarding the church, abuse, and mental health
[44:30]—Rapid Fire questions
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Credits
This episode was produced by The Sophia Society. Music is by Faith in Foxholes, and sound engineering is by Joshua Mudge.
