A Necessary Death
It may not feel like fall where you live, but the first signs of autumn have arrived here on Colorado’s Front Range. The kids are back in school, the aspen are about to turn, and the first snow fell last night on the top of Pikes Peak. Winter is coming.
As one season flows into the next, Nature bears witness to the universal cycle of birth, growth, flourishing, dying, and rising. Each season has a wisdom to share, and fall reminds us death is not only inevitable, it’s necessary. We do well to pay attention, realizing that our own lives (both spiritually and physically) will spiral through this cycle many times. “Death is not the opposite of life, but a part of it,” writes the Persian poet and Sufi mystic Rumi.
Jesus tells us that “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone. But if it dies, it produces many others and yields a rich harvest.” He’s not only referencing His own impending death, He is also inviting us to walk the primal path of downward mobility leading to newness of life.
As you witness the expected-yet-miraculous transformation of Nature this year, ask yourself this question. What part of me needs to die in order to be reborn? Our lives would become bloated and weighed down without the seasonal putting to death of old ideas, beliefs, burdens, and relationships. Caitlin Mathews, author of The Celtic Spirit, writes, “When we investigate what is hindering our spiritual path, we often find that it is something we have been holding onto, rather than any external circumstance.”
The same is probably true for your faith deconstruction journey. Are you still holding on to old relationships or ideas that need to be set aside, that need to just die already? Rather than being a slippery slope toward the ending of faith altogether, deconstruction is actually a natural part of the cycle of spiritual renewal. And this cycle, like the cycle of the seasons, requires the death of the old before something better can germinate, take root, and grow in its place.
For now, embrace this season of surrender and death. “To live is to to be willing to die over and over again,” writes Buddhist monk and spiritual director Pema Chodron. The lifelong task of authentic spirituality is to let go, not add to. And in so doing, may you trust that as you pour yourself out, you will be filled anew in season.
Gary Alan Taylor
